I am a declared cthulolic, a proud member of the Peruvian Church of Cthulhu, but a couple of months ago I discovered the answer to life the universe and everything.
It all began when the Kansas state board of education decided to allow intelligent design (the theory that a smart being designed the universe, creationism, or in this case, right-wing christianism) in science class along with evolution. It was then when Bobby Henderson sent an open letter to the Kansas board of education, demanding equal time in classrooms to the theories of evolution, intelligent design and Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.
In his brilliant letter, Bobby says:
Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.
He then states that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is as scientific as the intelligent design theory, if not more. Some of the basis of this new religion are:
- The Flying Spaghetti Monster is superintelligent, invisible, undetectable and can pass through normal matter with ease.
- The overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.
- There are lengthy volumes explaining all details of His powers
- Scientific measures are manipulated by His Noodly Appendage
- Flying Spaghetti Monsterism must be taught wearing His chosen outfit: pirate regalia. Don’t ask why, He just becomes angry if you don’t.
- Global Warming, Earthquakes and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s.
- Every friday is a religious holiday
- Heaven has a Stripper Factory and a Beer Volcano
- Prayers end by “Ramen” instead of “Amen”
- Like the great noodles they worship, Flying Spaghetti Monsterists have flimsy moral standards.
- Followers call themselves pastafarians
There is of course a picture of Him creating a mountain, trees and a midget:
Boby Henderson states that if the Kansas board of education doesn’t give equal times to evolution, intelligent design and Flying Scientific Monsterism, he will take legal actions.
The letter has the support of many PhDs. They are of the opinion that both intelligent design and Flying Spaghetti Monsterism are equally valid, since both present comparable evidence.
The letter got a lot of attention, it has been covered in The New Scientist, The Washington Post, The New York Times, the Wikipedia, and several others. There is even a million dollar reward in Boing Boing for anybody that can prove that Jesus is not the son of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
I am now, a convert. I am still a member of the peruvian church of Cthulhu (I want to be eaten first), but I can see now that even ancient Cthulhu and his big city of R’lyeh are the creation of His Noodly Appendage. I have seen the light.
And of course, if you don’t believe in the Flying Spagetthi Monster, you are wrong and I am right. That’s how these things work right?
Comments (25)
I cannot believe what they are doing in Kansas, this is ridiculous.
The flying spaghetti monster ate my baby! I swear!
A new meme, at least this one is more clever than the old “ALL YOUR BASE” crap.
i think you guys are all full of crap
and this is all a bunch of shit
you guys suck!
BULL SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!
omfg…this is a truely wonderful and insightful religion. I have never felt so…soo..complete after being touched by his noodly appendage!
LMAO, why did it have to be Flying Spaghetti Monster? Why not Flying Blob of Shit or…. Swooping Ninja Mokey?
if you dont BELIVE in the FLYING SPGETTI MONSTER youer a dum fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All of ya’ll who believe this queer ass religion are just a bunch of fucking nerds who have nothing better to do then just make up ridiculous shitty ass crap like this. Along with that fact, anyone who believes this stupid religion has a drinking problem, all of ya’ll drink douche water.
this is flippin’ awesome! I mean…really stupid, but totally awesome
Erst letztens flog es über mich hinweg ich schwöre es!!!ich habe es mit meinen eigenen augen gesehen…was für eine erleuchtung!
yes of course i belive in that>>monster
ja natürlich wer daran nicht glaubt ist echt blöd und wer es noch nie gesehen hat echt blind;)
omfg at my school im am a prophet of this new awsome religion because i was the first to find it. everyone who says this is crap were is ur sense of humor i mean wtf are u so stuck up u cant have a little fun i hope the great all mighty god has mercy on your doomed soul and dont forget to smile and have a good day:):):):)
This is the coolest thing I have ever seen in my life…I mean seriously…..a religion based on food……FUCKING AWESOME!……..no seriously, you guys are a buncha fuckin morans that have nothing to do with your lives except to sit around and come up with ridiculus things, hoping people will believe it…..trust me you are no prophet of something made of spaghetti….if it comes to you in your sleep……STOP SMOKING CRACK!
Well, we’re not going to sink to your level and start making fun and mocking you guys… but really, couldn’t you think of something else other than spaghetti? It’s not funny that you guys are mocking us about believing in God. There is a Bible. So, why don’t you take the time to read it? I mean, if little things like, spaghetti can persuay you, than I’m sure that the Bible can. The starters of this religion have some of the kids in a local junior high school sending out fliers about this. THIS IS GAAAAAAAYYYY. Do you have any clue how much this hurts people and offends them? Really? Do you understand how many people are getting hurt? Some people should think before they act.
Also, most of the people that I know that are “pastaferian” laugh about it. One of them can’t even look me in the eyes without laughing when I talking to him about a “flying spaghetti monster”… and you should definitely think about this belief. Please do.
God is love. Amen.
Dude.. FSM… Fucking Hilarious.. but also really retarded.. lol.. If you believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, good for you.. but I think its only for entertainment.. Lol.. its a good kick.
Yes actually it’s true, I am the son of the flying spaghetti monster. Mom ate magical pasta the day I was conceived. I guess I should’ve told you all earlier but I didn’t think you’d believe me anyway. Thankfully science has been catching up and has been able to prove the existence of my real dad (which is actually also me!).
Oh btw, I’ve read that book that you wrote about me after I ascended. Really I have! I do hope you can make sense of it because I certainly can’t. It seems that not many of you can either though considering the number of different denominations there are, and the animosity between them!
Anyway, I hope you’re all having a great day! Love and blessings to you all, even you non-believers!
What an insult to God. Thats a disgrase.
It is a religious movement that has the same basics as any other religion.
If you believe in the bible, then have you ever read it completely, The book of Genesis, has two different versions of the creation of the earth and man. This is a joke to non-christians, but they don’t laugh at ychristians about it. And christians ,can’t agree who is and isn’t a christian, when you believe the same things. The Catholics, Baptists, LDS, etc. base their religon on the same principles, but will argue until they are blue in the face that “They” have the one true religion, and every other religion is worshiping a false God.
This arguement about what is and isn’t a religion is all just a bunch of bullshit. If you believe in a higher power, then that is a religion and nobody has the right to say that yours is not the right one with out also acknowledging that they also worship the wrong religion.
As for teaching about a religious belief in school, scince class is not the place for it, since there is not any proof or physical evidence when it comes to the religious theories. Most of the bible was written centuries after the fact, by individuals who were told these stories, by people who heard these stories from people who heard….
Stories of this type are called fables and/or hearsay. The last time I checked, neither of which were admissible in a court of law as evidence. So how and/or why do the stories even get a chance in a court of law.
I have spent 40 plus years in religious studies, I am an ordained Minister, and I have taught many bible classes over twenty plus years. But I have seen religeon for what it is, a belief in something that doesn’t always make sense.
Pray to your pathetic FSM, blasphemer, for when the stars are right and the Old Ones return, they will show you no mercy.
If you ever set foot, fin, or claw in the eldritch city of Y’ha-nthlei you will be immediately pantsed by deep ones.
May your dreams never again be visited by cosmic horrors that leave you drenched in sweat, clinging to your pillow for dear life.
This is truly great. It is a fun joke :o)
Religion is stupid.
People only believe in religion if they crave something more exciting and mystical, or if they are retarded.
Who needs to read a religious text to learn morals. Well certainly not me, as I don’t want to stone my next door neighbor for getting divorced. If you follow everything in the Bible you’d be arrested or locked up in a psychiatric ward.
Followers who say the Bible is literal are fools. Followers that say is is not-literal are also fools, why read a religious text that is NOT literal!? That book is baloney.
Same goes for all the other stupid religions. No respect or tolerance any more I’m afraid. Religious people are intolerant to people who ask questions, so my intolerance will now be publicly aired.
Hurray for Richard Dawkins.
Retards.
It’s called cynicism. Everyone who is responding negatively with comments are either dumb as a rock or 12 years old. The church is only in place to prove that all other religions are just as ridiculous to believe in as believing in a flying spaghetti monster. There is no god, flying or otherwise, and religion was only invented to keep the weak, ignorant, and obviously gullible people in check, while turning women into slaves (or burning them as witches) and making a pretty penny doing so. So, fly on pastafarians. You have my vote… or at least a sense of humor. And I’d choose that over some first-born-sacrificing, world-flooding, sexiest pig of a God any day!
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