Hacking for fun and profit

Hi, my name is Gustavo, and I am a Civilization junkie.

I have sad news for the computer industry: Firaxis and Sid Meier released Civilization IV yesterday and this time they added multiplayer capabilities 3D graphics and customization with Python scripts. What were they thinking? Sid Meier is some kind of video game drug lord, he is responsible of MILLIONS of man-hours wasted on endless cycles of the “JUST… ONE… MORE… TURN…” syndrome. This is WRONG. Here is my story:

In the beginning the earth was without form… and void: Civilization

I have been a Civilization addict since ~1992 (I was 11) when I bought the original Microprose Sid Meier’s Civilization. I was interested because I have always been a history junkie. I had a 386 at the time, with 4MB of RAM and no hard drive. I used to play by swapping two double density floppy disks until I figured out how to use my massive (at the time) RAM as a hard drive, so I created a 2MB virtual hard drive to install civilization everytime I turned on the computer. I also learn lots of things because of civilization: hexadecimal notation, memory hacking, assembler and C programming. But still, I spent YEARS of my life on Civilization. I remember spending entire summers in my room improving my C but also conquering the world, discovering iron working and trying to build Woman’s Suffrage (or capturing it) so I could quickly switch to Republic. I remember staying awake all night for the first time in front of my computer, it was because of CIV.

The worst high school girlfriend nightmare: Civilization II

Four years later, in 1996, Microprose released Civ2 and again, I became an addict. It had an isometric view, more units, new game mechanics and the same old “oh please just… one… more… turn…”. That same year I also discovered Linux, and I divided my time between learning Linux and playing Civ2.

I remember that some friends used to visit me to play Civ2, they loved the WWII campaign and always played german. It was a wonderful game. Some years later I tried to teach one of my girlfriends at the time how to play civ2 but she was more interested in sex. Who understands women.

Cheating on TUX: Civilization III

Again five years later, in 2001, Firaxis released Civ3. It wasn’t designed by Sid Meier, but it was 100% Civilization. It had some ideas borrowed from Alpha Centauri (an amazing civ-like game in space) and completly new game mechanics, like cultural ratings, city influence, borders, qualities, etc. I was already a desktop Linux user at the time, but I had to install Windows in another hard drive because of civ3. It hapenned again, I became addicted. I abandoned several personal projects because of this game. I didn’t have sex for a long time because of this damn game. Curse you Sid Meier.

The Beginning of the End: Civilization IV

Now, 4 years later, Firaxis releases Civ4. These people are sick. They want to ruin my life again. I have been succesful in avoiding World of Warcraft and Star Wars Galaxies, but I know I won’t be able to resist Civ4. Just look at what they have done this time:

• 3D graphics: Everything is 3D and animated: units, rivers, city improvements, etc. You can zoom smoothly from world map to city level (no more “zoom to city view”) and you can adjust the camera angle so you can choose between an top down view (civ1) or an isometric view (civ2).
• Python: The game can be customized with Python
• Religion: There are seven religions in the game: Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, Taoism and Confucianism. They give no special bonuses but diplomacy is improved between civs with the same religion.
• City Health: A city health system replaced pollution and city riots. Resources like wheat and improvements like hospitals increase health, too much industry decrease it.
• Civics: There are no more governments like despotism, republic, communism, etc. Instead you can fine tune your government in 5 categories: Government, Legal, Labor, Economy, and Religion
• Early expansion penalized: I guess it will be hard to reach Alpha Centauri in the 1200s.
• More: New combat rules, improved diplomacy and trading, etc

As you can see Sid Meier wants to doom us all again. Beware, stay away from Civ4 if you plan to have a social life for the next couple of years. Luckily there is a support group called Civilization Anonymous (watch the video) for civ addicts, but I think I am beyond recovery, I’ll just play until I fall asleep in my keyboard again.

I must admit, besides everything about computers I learn from my days with Civ1, the fact that I’m now into programming because of Civilization and reviving my interest in history, geography, philosophy, religion, and all these things, I want to say:

Damn you Sid Meier for stealing my life and making the best games ever.